No longer into you

Now,
I shall see you as a flower,
Perhaps a rose,
molested by every hand and nose,
But not mine.
Your beauty and scent,
Which once i was attracted to
Becomes the attraction
Of every beast and insect,
Of which you prostituted yourself with.

Now,
My heart no longer wants you,
I shall only see you as a molested flower

A rose whose petals,
Falls one by one,
When every hand touches you
A rose, whose stalk is bruised,
As you lay in rough hands
Whose leaves becomes brown
And dry,
And your thorns becomes blunt,
As the hands of these beasts,
Who greed for beauty
who never appreciates beauty
Holds you with no mercy
Your scent is gone
As every nose that smelled you,
Takes away your scent,
Takes away your life.


I no longer see beauty in you,
You
shall only be a withered flower to me
Though you’re the attraction of many


I shall be normal once again
A person in search for happiness
In search for beauty,
Unmolested

...

i miss you.

last night. he didnt get any answer.

what the fuck happen last night?

all of the guys were playing this game at www.hotel626.com and we were shouting and screaming like nobody's business. it was really late at night, my guess, 1am.

then, instead of listening to the sound or the voice of the freaking ghost, we heard banging on our gate. somebody was shouting and shit. my another guess, he's fuckin PISSED.

why?

cuz he cant sleep cuz we were screaming like teletubies with rabies.

but on the other hand. i think he's just jealous that he doesnt have any internet connection, so he cant ym or cyber sex with the gf or something, so he chose us to let go his steam.

for ur info. this dude, called the gang to come up to the unit and shit. but fuck, we didnt open the door. lol. what a sore loser. he waited for a good 15 minutes like a dog infront of the house, memaki hamun.

an advise, nak marah pun, kasi salam dulu. otak letak mana? pungkok or lutut.

u ppl decide for the guy.

fuz

kini empat pagi.

"Kepada penyair gundah,
daun gugur pun sentiasa
indah." - A. Samad Said







Rebah, kau bawa kesannya ke tanah.

Lalu dunia tidak rata dan seluruh alam
seperti yang kau kenali
tidak akan sama lagi.

Masa membawa cerita kamu itu.
Tumpukan pendengaran kau sebentar.
Bisikan angin memerli.

Hentilah mendengar dengan telinga sahaja.
Pekaklah kau sampai bila-bila.
Bawalah belaian suara samar itu ke dalam hati
dan angkatlah dirimu ke suatu sudut yang sunyi.

Frekuensinya makin jelas, bukan?

Fahami.

my apocalypse

What if ur in love.   sooo in love that everytime u wake up in the morning u think of her.

u reach ur phone to see if she had texted u yet.

u check ur laptop to see if she sent any email.

ur so crazily in love with her.

but 1 day u wake up, and u realize FOR A FACT that u wont be getting those stated above anymore.

cuz she's gone.

i mean literally gone...

she left you for heaven or hell

that shud hit u really good eh? cuz we nvr think of that kinda possibility.

so peeps tell me. wud u cry? wud u be sooo shock u cant do shit. or u'll just be plain and accept that very cold hard fact that she's gone?

boys n girls. till then.

fuz

La Haine

"How far you fall doesn't matter, it's how you land." - La Haine


La Haine, translated from french means "Hate". It's a brilliant movie by Mathieu Kassovitz.

Fans of City of God, Elite Squad, Dirty Pretty Things and the like which features social issues in alternative voices will definitely treasure this.

The film is in black and white, in french, and is basically about 3 immigrants (Vinz, Hubert and Said) in modern-day France trying to find some meaning in a place where even fresh bullet shells on the pavements are much easier to come by. Uncared for by society, what then entails? How would an object of power in possession, shift the balance of things? Perhaps a gun maybe?

I'm not going to ruin the plot, but always keep a sharp eye on the director's use of subtle visual storytelling.

And i promise you, if the ending doesn't leave you all wide-eyed with your mouth open, shoot me.

Maybe it's high time for us to look at certain things differently in life. Who knows, we might even be the cause of all that is wrong. There is a reason why social issues are not called individual issues, as everything is connected. Or maybe no one cares enough yet. We've all got enough food on the table for the moment, no?

As Hubert would say, "So far, so good."

But for how long?

carbolic smokeball

Do you get nervous all  at a sudden?

Do you feel excited when u wake up in the morning?

Do you suddenly change the way u talk/walk when u see her?

Do you happen to lost ur words when u talk to her?

well my friend, that means YOU, just fell in love!

Its a disease where u get rather different than usual. u start to be an addict to that someone. this disease wont lead to death, just normal rashes. a box of chocolate will always help.

If you are still not recovered, dial 1-800-im-in-love

ha. ha. ha

fuz

.:: Into the night ::.

I could search the entire world,
I could swim the entire ocean,
I could walk the entire continent.

And yet, i could not find it.

The world lost its sparks,
The food lost its taste,
And I,

I lost my heart.

______________________________________

I shall let you go thief,
for I could never catch you.

Go and run O' thief,
And find whatever you need.

It is not me that you seek,
And it is not in me that you shall find happiness.

Go and run O' thief,
And never look back at me.

Don't worry bout my heart that you've break,
for it would healed by itself when sadness fades away.

....

Tonight will be the night that
I will fall for you, over again..

naah..keep dreaming o' heart..

I ain't gonna fall for your trap twice.

period!

my valentine's tribute

i wish i was him
the guy she was playing pool with,
so that
every time she’s had a tough ball,
missed the target or the nice shot.
I can see her sweet smile,
Because each was different yet the same,
Each brought me happiness.

I wish i was over there
Instead of here
To see every emotion she expressed,
Those of which i’ve been lacking
As art begins to take place,
On the pool table.

I wish i was the one
Who spent my valentine’s night
Playing pool.

I wish i had a dog,
Then I’ll never be lonely,
I shall not leave nor be left alone.
I’ll have company in times of sadness
Even depression
And it will even long for my attention,
Monday till sunday
Everyday

even on valentine’s.

As the sun sinks into the horizon
It’ll be dry and cold
And I’ll shiver through the night.
Still,
i shall wait till the beginning of dawn
I shall wait with hope

And even as i wait,
the sun refuses to rise.
I’ll be ok...

I still have the moon.



happy belated valentines day

lies all the way thru second base.

infatuation. 

i really believe that infatuation is a nasty thing.

shouldnt happen to me, u or anybody.

but do u realize that sometimes it just happen?

u know when a guy tries way too hard to get the girl's attention. trying way too hard to get her trust, love or whatever u find in a relationship.

and in the end, because of ur tendency of trying too hard, the girl FINALLY gave in and accepted u. and YOU on the other hand lost interest and start giving reasons like *nahh.. i realized, not that hot mah..*

dang.. u lied all the way thru second base. 

such a waste.

infatuation.

anyway, this post is not intended to refer to no fucking body. so if u terasa, please stop flattering urself.

This is a sudden fact and a thought which accidently passed thru my intellectual skull. haha

happy v-day.

fuz

The girl who stole my heart

Such beauty,
Portrayed by her thoughts.
I can't resist.

Such beauty,
Spoken through her words.
I can't ignore.

Such beauty,
that none shall complaint.

Stop.Stay,
Don't let this feeling washed away.

I need you thief.

A great piece from Calvin and Hobbes. Notice how, at times, everyone feels like a stuffed animal.


And i don't mean it in a warm-huggable kind of way either.

You do

You will take my heart,
The hole I have been longing to fill,
Or at least hope that it would.

I am sure you have a place in me,
Somewhere special in my heart,
And i know right now,
it's empty.

What meaning in life should I seek,
When all I need is you.
What other things should I long for,
When you satisfy my wants.
What else should I look at,
When all I see is you.

You will take my sight,
The medium of which
My heart see’s the world.
When you’re around,
Everything will be pretty
When you're not,
Everything is dull.

And still I can’t find you.
I need a life…

Beauty Shamed

All you poets speak of beauty
that i shall
attempt
to shamefully repeat.

I speak of beauty untouched
by all
and yet
kept away from the eyes.

Sinned is he who dare defies,
That beauty stood in my eyes.

I speak of that which walls cannot hold.

I speak of that which no glue may bind.

I speak of lips that fuck with the mind.

I speak of touch that burns the skin.

Leaving ash to recollect.

I am one of crowds with erased faces.

No features to tell from
No one to tell wrong
I stood behind.

Pictures of those eyes that rest with lies,
I cannot prove no alibis.

I speak of that which needs no talking.
Surrendering fate to the touch of distinct fingertips.

I tell no lies.

I tried to walk away
with
half-a-sun
on her
chest.

sambal tumis

Life is like sambal tumis. U might think im crapping, but no i'm not.

spicy flavour resemble the shit that u go thru ur whole life.
salty flavour also resemble the shit u need to go thru.
sour resemble shit that u need to go thro too.

now.. the sweetness that is rarely u found in any sambal tumis. not everybody make their sambal tumis with a lil bit of sweetness.

so in a nutshell, life is always as shit. go thru it. its life experience.
that shud keep u going. thats the flavour of life.

only when ur lucky u get the taste of the sweetness. be it sambal tumis or life.

true.. no?

fuz

Untold feelings

a heart
that filled with emptiness,

a heart
that filled with loneliness,

a heart
that always longed for your love.


- alex; Wednesday, 11 February 2009 15:25
[inside lecture for contract]

pop that cherry

This is my first post after years of restraining myself not to blog. My humble gratitude towards my fellow mates, alex and karl for inviting me to contribute this so called poetic blog.

What i could say is that i'm not gonna be posting poems or crap. But i am gonna write about some shit that most perhaps blow ur minds off. (yeah litreally)

so, cheers for the crap and shit that we will face this new year.

lets talk philosophy mates!

fuz.

2009

A sober arrival into two thousand nine.

Stop.
Rewind.
Play.

A sudden burst of emotions.

You.
Her.
Smile.

Pieces of paper shall not fail me.

Puisi sebuah hati

Hati,

Unik dan mengasyikkan.

Kerna hati, aku melihatnya,

Kerna hati, aku tertarik kepadanya.

Dia,

Dalam kelembutan,

Ada kesedihan.

Dalam ketenangan,

Ada kedukaan.

Lalu,

Dengan senyumannya yg menawan,

Membuat hati ini tertawan.

Adakah ini cinta yg diminta?

Atau hanya ulangan luka?

Aku,

Sedikit demi sedikit,

Saat demi saat,

I'm falling for u – deep inside.

alex- 9/12/2007